Simon here: I’m reposting this comment which I just posted on our website, because it seems to be something that others have mentioned often. The top rated comment was…*drum roll please* “Before I learned you two are married couple, I totally thought Simon was gay… Sorry Simon.” To which I responded:
Yeah, I’ve read that a lot. I’ve never addressed this before, but - seeing as there are very many likes for this comment - I’ll talk about it now!
Firstly, there’s no need to apologize. I don’t think anyone’s sexuality is insulting. Would I be insulted if someone thought I was Croatian and not Polish? No. Nor do I think that someone’s actions or personality are any indication of their propensity to like people of the same sex. The whole “gay men act this way” notion - to me - is as inaccurate as “white men act this way.”
Secondly, I know I don’t fit into the archetypal role of heterosexual masculinity, which is where I think a lot of people’s assumption that I’m gay comes from. I don’t act stereotypically manly: I’m interested in fashion; beer tastes gross; kpop is fun; I love dancing. And I’m confident enough to not be worried about being this way, nor about people’s opinions about me because of my being this way.
Also, I think people are surprised that we’re married because we don’t fit into the depictions of marriage that we grew up seeing. We’re happy and silly, we’re best friends, we respect each other exponentially, and we care more about keeping each other happy than anything else. And, after five years of marriage, we’re still wildly in love with each other. My role as a husband isn’t to bring home the bacon, have the wife cook it, and then serve me a beer while I watch the game on TV. We’re partners in this world, and our only goal is to make each other smile.
Lastly, I hope you don’t think of this as an attack to you or your comment. Like I said, I do understand where the assumption came from, and I’m not upset at you for thinking that way at all, nor do I think any less of you. I’m trying to take this not as a time to defend myself, but more of an opportunity to talk about a topic I have always found interesting.
aka Dothraki Man Warrior