Some Rage for Simon and Martina's critique of "Troublemaker"

We don’t mind it when people disagree with our opinion, but we do mind when people say that we’re racist, classist, sexist, and misogynistic, based off of misconstruing what we’ve said into something completely false, and attempting to interpret our secret or unspoken intentions.  We can’t address every single issue in this massive tirade, but we’ll address the ones that upset us the most:

1. “I mean, one of Simon and Martina’s tags on the video is “Hyuna the stripper”. What. Now that’s fucking up, and harsh. “

Funny story, but not so funny story.  You just made us $20 off that comment.  A friend of ours (who is also a YouTuber) argued that no one cares about the tags and that putting them in is a waste of time.  We bet him $20 that people do notice the tags and that they’re actually a big deal.  So he told us to put in an outrageous tag and see if people noticed.  People noticed in under 12 hours, so we changed the tag back to “Hyuna 4Minute”.  What we didn’t expect was that the one tag would cause more controversy than the 10 minute video.  And that’s the reason for the tag.  Kind of lame huh?

2. “Oh, don’t think I didn’t notice your quick “Super ghetto old spy gear” description in the corner, guys. Must we go into the racialized, classist elements of such a comment and derogatory usage of the term “ghetto” or can ya’ll figure that shit out yourself?”

Are you calling us racist for calling something cheap looking?  Are you serious?  Has the word ghetto changed in some way since we last used it?  Maybe it’s just a Canadian thing.  Growing up, if something was broken or cheap, it was called ghetto, by people of all races, not just white people.  Like “that car is so ghetto”, as in, the adjective ghetto, not the noun.  The connotations you’ve pushed upon this are overwhelmingly ridiculous.

3. “Simon and Martina get to the “Real Focus” of the video-HYUNA DARING TO BE SEXY!”

You’re so very, very wrong on our “Real Focus.”  We’re not focusing on her for DARING to be sexy; we’re focusing on her TRYING to be sexy.  Very big difference which just about renders the rest of your argument invalid.  To us, her sexiness looks unnatural, forced, and silly.  To you, it might look natural, fierce, and hot.  And it’s okay if you think that.  But in our personal opinion, she’s not good at it.

Hyuna, to us, is not sexy.  Hyuna trying to be sexy looks silly.  Is that slut shaming?  Must every woman attempting to be sexy in Korea be heralded as Kpop’s savior from patriarchy?  What if we were to say “Good for you, Hyuna, for trying to be sexy and bucking the system.  But you suck at it”?  Will that make you feel better, or does acting sexy give you immunity from people’s criticism? 

There’s nothing “wrong” with being sexual in videos, which is why we mentioned that we have no qualms with the Brown Eyed Girls’ video for “Sixth Sense”.  Good job at overlooking that point, by the way.  We also mentioned in our review of Bubble Pop how we like Hyori’s version of sexiness, but not Hyuna’s.  You didn’t mention that point, either.  You also excluded our point on men looking silly when Jacob and Taeyang constantly have their shirts off.  But including that point wouldn’t fit your argument.  And - big one here - you also forgot to mention that we specifically said that we’re not against sexiness in videos.  

Seems like you overlooked a lot of our points.  How about when we said that her role in the video doesn’t reflect her personality anymore than an actor’s does outside of a movie?  Taking stuff out of context is a great way to win an argument, isn’t it? 

You really like the word “slut-shaming” and tried to fit us into your argument, while throwing away every detail that contradicted your argument.  The next time you disagree with us, we’d appreciate if you’d:

1) Include all the facts.  

2) Not depend on reading between the lines and assume what we’re really secretly thinking. 

Let’s continue!

4. “What do you MEAN each time you say “What Hyuna’s doing ‘takes away’ from…” FROM WHAT? The stark intellectual insight, artistic integrity, unique introspective viewpoint, and emotional depth that is usually the forefront of K-pop? […] It just so happens that with “Troublemaker”, they decided to get more in-your-face about the sex. WHICH THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH. Sit your ass down and learn a bit about what you claim to know fucking much about. Kpop is pretty much mindless, vapid aesthetics all based on profits, appeal, and trends. Don’t sit there and act like Hyuna is “ruining” anything.”

You might not appreciate kpop for the qualities you say that it lacks, but we appreciate and analyze Kpop videos for everything they are trying to express.  We respect kpop idols because they can sing and dance, and they’re really freaking good at it.

So, what does Hyuna “take away” from?  As an actress in this video, her acting was terrible.  As a dancer?  Bending over and sticking your hand between your thighs, crawling on the ground, violent pelvic thrusting has been done before…by Hyuna herself.  It’s boring, unimaginative, repetitive, and lazy on the choreographer’s behalf.

Hyuna’s blasé dancing role takes away from what we viewed as an important quality in Kpop.  I’ll look at how BoA dances and think “holy shit, that’s amazing,” or Beyonce’s pelvic thrusting in “Single Ladies” and think “Damn! That’s so fierce and confident!”, while I look at Hyuna’s moves and see nothing impressive about them.  They seem hollow, forced, and unconvincing.  You might find Hyuna’s dance moves fierce and confident, but we do not.

As of late, Hyuna sucks at dancing, sucks at being sexy, and we find her roles silly and forced and unnatural, while we don’t have those complaints with other people who we think do a better, more convincing job of it.  Us saying “Hyuna, you look silly at trying to be sexy” does not equal “Hyuna, you’re a bad person for being sexy.”

Do you see the difference?  We really hope so.  

Sincerely,

Simon & Martina

noonaneomuhomo:

So starting off, I was already not having it since I was alerted by my sister and people on Tumblr about the many problematic aspects of the video. I mean, one of Simon and Martina’s tags on the video is “Hyuna the stripper”. What. Now that’s fucking up, and harsh. The video isn’t even nearly…